1
my wish
As I mentioned in my previous post, on our way to Mc Do this lunch time, I saw someone from my past. She is my college barkada.
When we’re in college, our group is composed of more than 10. But there were five of us who are really-really close. As in, they know all my secrets and problems, I know all their secrets and problems , we are the one who’s always hanging out, we’re always group mates when there is a group project, we even sleep in each other’s houses. We are friends since first year college so you can just imagine how close we are.
But right before graduation, when we are doing our thesis, we had an issue and tension in our group that we we’re not able to resolve. Maybe it’s because we’re all stress from doing our thesis or maybe we are immature, that instead of doing something to patch things up, nobody stepped up from us to fix our problem.
I can’t even remember the exact reason why we drifted apart. All I can remember is that they did something that pissed me of, I did something that pissed them off. It’s like we had a competition and nobody wants to lower their pride and we have to have our own revenge against each other.
After graduation, we lost contact. Sometimes I heard news from our common friends about them, but we never really talked after graduation. Just recently, I heard that both of them got married already and my other friend just gave birth to a healthy baby boy.
A few months ago, I even dreamt about them. Maybe it’s a sign that I miss both of them. We have gone through a lot already and I think 5 years of friendship shouldn’t just be put to waste. I tried sending one of them a message in friendster as that is the only way that I have, to contact them (I don’t know their email address or their cell phone number). But I didn’t get any reply.
When I saw my old friend this afternoon, I wanted to greet her and asked her how life has been. She was even with her husband and I was with Howell and Bela so I wanted to meet her husband and introduce Howell and my daughter to them. But when I looked at her, she looked away.
Maybe she’s still not ready to talk to me. Or could it be that she looked away because she doesn’t want to get reconnected with me and our friendship is totally gone forever. It made me kind of sad and up to now I’m still a little affected. But then I realized, maybe I’m still not ready also. Because if I was, I should have the courage to call her attention even if she looked away. Maybe, I’m still scared that I would be the one doing the first move. Maybe I’m still scared that she might reject me even if I wanted to say sorry.
I just miss them so much. There are times, I would reminisce and think about our college days. I just wish that after more than 5 years of being out of touch with each other, I hope that there would still be a way to bring back our friendship.
When we’re in college, our group is composed of more than 10. But there were five of us who are really-really close. As in, they know all my secrets and problems, I know all their secrets and problems , we are the one who’s always hanging out, we’re always group mates when there is a group project, we even sleep in each other’s houses. We are friends since first year college so you can just imagine how close we are.
But right before graduation, when we are doing our thesis, we had an issue and tension in our group that we we’re not able to resolve. Maybe it’s because we’re all stress from doing our thesis or maybe we are immature, that instead of doing something to patch things up, nobody stepped up from us to fix our problem.
I can’t even remember the exact reason why we drifted apart. All I can remember is that they did something that pissed me of, I did something that pissed them off. It’s like we had a competition and nobody wants to lower their pride and we have to have our own revenge against each other.
After graduation, we lost contact. Sometimes I heard news from our common friends about them, but we never really talked after graduation. Just recently, I heard that both of them got married already and my other friend just gave birth to a healthy baby boy.
A few months ago, I even dreamt about them. Maybe it’s a sign that I miss both of them. We have gone through a lot already and I think 5 years of friendship shouldn’t just be put to waste. I tried sending one of them a message in friendster as that is the only way that I have, to contact them (I don’t know their email address or their cell phone number). But I didn’t get any reply.
When I saw my old friend this afternoon, I wanted to greet her and asked her how life has been. She was even with her husband and I was with Howell and Bela so I wanted to meet her husband and introduce Howell and my daughter to them. But when I looked at her, she looked away.
Maybe she’s still not ready to talk to me. Or could it be that she looked away because she doesn’t want to get reconnected with me and our friendship is totally gone forever. It made me kind of sad and up to now I’m still a little affected. But then I realized, maybe I’m still not ready also. Because if I was, I should have the courage to call her attention even if she looked away. Maybe, I’m still scared that I would be the one doing the first move. Maybe I’m still scared that she might reject me even if I wanted to say sorry.
I just miss them so much. There are times, I would reminisce and think about our college days. I just wish that after more than 5 years of being out of touch with each other, I hope that there would still be a way to bring back our friendship.
